My friend Richard was buried yesterday. He had been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer back at the end of February. He passed on July 1st.
I met Richard back in
2011 when he took his son Nick and his other Webelos to check out Troop 4. Richard struck me as no-nonsense, and a
little gruff as he sized me up; we hit it off and he jumped right in and was right
there working knots with the boys. A few
months later Nick and Richard joined our troop.
Richard was absolutely devoted to Nick. He and Nick went camping at the beach and he
taught the boys first aid; we went
camping in the local mountains, and he helped the boys make the most shocking
pagan war flag, it was awesome. Richard
often told me how excited he was about Nicks
growing confidence and independence and sense of self empowerment. Richard helped out everywhere and the boys and the
adults loved him. He was salt of the earth. He taught cooking and pulled my introverted son into it; they shared a love for Penzey’s spices. Richard gave us his chile verde recipe.
At Bandido a couple years ago Richard helped me out with a
climbing program. He was off belaying
other boys while I taught Nick how to
rappel. Richard was so proud of Nick for
taking that on. He wrote me later that he “could see a sense of pride.... No false
bravado from him....Bravery is accepting that you are afraid, and pushing
forward in spite of that. One of the best emotions in life is laughing through
tears...:. Or grinning while physically shaking .... Good stuff !!” We went out on our own and climbed and
rappelled at Horseflats; Richard belayed
me while I tackled the crack at Romeo Void over and over until I got it. I was pretty scared on the crux of that
little climb but Richard had me on belay until I got it. Richard loved all this so much he got his
climbing instructor card. He took Nick
out on his final instructor’s exam
- where Nick got to show off some ‘special’
techniques on a 70 foot rappel! Richard
was beyond proud of Nick for how he
handled this; he told me that most of
the adults had bowed out (it was very high “pucker factor”). The last time we climbed was after the Angeles
Crest 100 last year (where Richard crewed me, along with my wife, brother, and a couple of other close friends) when Nick and Richard and I went up to practice anchors
and rappel rescue at Horseflats. We looked
forward to climbing and exploring more up there. We wanted to scope out the scary 80- foot Toprope
wall, but we never got the chance.
I trusted Richard and
that trust extended from the rock into
some hairy stuff in the real world. He
was real. We tried to be on our best behavior around the scouts and I for one
had to work hard to keep my language clean.
But I loved the fact that when we
were together without the boys his
language could sometimes blister paint -- I felt like I could breath around him. Richard became my close friend and
confidant. When I got upset at people places or things, he would just listen,
wouldn’t judge, but would tell me that he wasn’t going to put any bullets in my
chamber.
About these adventures, Richard once wrote to me, “We all have a ‘golden window’ in life
sometimes, to do things we haven't done before, and may not be able to do again
in the future. This is one of those opportunities for me…” I read those words now and they seem
prophetic and leave me speechless. His time was too short and I miss him.
You honor Richard with your kind and caring words. Good work.
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